


Let me feel at home again

by mirilik



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Also no smut, Angst, Break Up?, Fighting, Fluff, Harry is Louis baby, M/M, Modest, One Shot, and fight with eacht other which is stupid, and then harry says some stupid things, argument, basically they are just really frustrated, but well, fluffy fluff, haha - Freeform, i ignored the other boys, just a tiny bit, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 05:06:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3107162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirilik/pseuds/mirilik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you even care anymore?”, Louis types as a new message to Harry, but never sends it. Instead he just throws his phone onto the table in front of him, not even caring to delete the message or lock the screen. So the words burn into Louis’ head. Sneak deeper into his brain, with every second he stares at them.</p><p> </p><p>Or the one where Louis and Harry seem to be on different sides but really are on the very same page about everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let me feel at home again

**Author's Note:**

> My first work here, I hope you like it. Kudos/Comments are much appreciated. Also not edited so sorry for any mistakes! (Also english is not my first language so sorry for any huge embarrassing mistakes)
> 
> love you :)

It’s silent in the whole house. Well, there’s nobody he could talk to and he doesn’t feel like listening to the radio or watching TV. He’s got enough to do with forcing his anger down. It’s been two days since they parted ways, Louis back to their house in London after the last day of promo in the US, and Harry, of fucking course, to LA. Louis knows that this isn’t actually Harry’s own decision but more managements, but after their fight he’s not sure if Harry would’ve chosen LA over London anyways. Just to stay away from Louis.

Which. Hurts. Like a hella lot. Like tiny daggers that stab again and again into Louis’ heart. Hot tears start to swell up in Louis’ eyes but he forces them back. He’s not crying just because of Harry. Nope. 

Fucking hell he hates fighting with Harry. It’s just so unnecessary. They don’t have enough alone time anyways, thanks to management, and now on their off days they’re fighting like the stupid idiots they are. He’s not even sure, what they fought about. Some really unimportant shit, that nobody cares about. 

_‘Eleanor’_ , he thinks. They fought about Eleanor. Again. Because Louis won’t be able to come along with Harry to Gemma’s birthday party in two weeks. Instead, he will fly with Eleanor to Paris to celebrate their “anniversary”.  
Thing is, Louis will look fucking miserable on all pap pics, he knows that. And will probably more support the rumours about their break up, than turning them down. So the whole stunt is ridiculous and unnecessary.  
The other thing is, that Louis still has no word in it. He still has to attend the fucking flight in two weeks because of a fucking contract he signed when he was too amazed by all the opportunities that Modest! seemed to offer. And it’s true, they had an amazing time until now. Nobody would’ve thought that they would ever reach such a worldwide success. Still, he catches himself more and more thinking that it isn’t worth it. 

So Harry was furious, when Louis told him backstage after a rather funny interview that Harry would go alone to his sister’s birthday. They both knew that it wasn’t anybody’s fault but Modest!’s but they still screamed at each other. Argued, although they stood on the same side, for god’s sake.  
They were just so frustrated. And that was the point when their frustration needed a way out of their bodies. It was just so completely wrong how they did it.

Louis wouldn’t be pissed anymore if that would’ve been it. If it just would’ve been the screaming. It’s Harry’s last words before their parting, which hurt the most.

_“Just go already, Lou, please. Don’t you have to catch a flight or something? Just.. go.”_

The loud _bang_ startles Louis although he’s the one that caused it. His eyes are glued to his fist, which just hit the table in front of him, hard. He doesn’t feel the pain though. He feels numb.

In four years they both said a lot of shit, that they regretted afterwards, but nothing hurt like Harry pleading that Louis should go already. He wanted him to leave. In between of a fight.

It seems like Harry has finally given up on them. And that scares the shit out of Louis.

Louis still send a text when he landed in Heathrow, asking Harry if he landed save in LA. Harry never replied and Louis nearly died because of his endless worrying about his boy. Just when Paul finally texted him, that Harry’s already at his house, Louis could relax a bit. But just for two seconds. Then the anger creeped back into his veins and he just couldn’t believe, that Harry wouldn’t answer him. Even when they fought they cared for each other deeply. That’s what Louis thought. 

He’s not sure anymore. And that scares the shit out of him.

 _“Do you even care anymore?”_ , Louis types as a new message to Harry, but never sends it. Instead he just throws his phone onto the table in front of him, not even caring to delete the message or lock the screen. So the words burn into Louis’ head. Sneak deeper into his brain, with every second he stares at them. 

He can’t just keep sitting here but he isn’t able to move either. He feels lost in his own home. Thing is, it doesn’t feel like home without Harry. And he knows he will never feel at home again, if Harry really breaks up with him. That’s a fact. 

The sound of a key in the lock of their front door seems to echo through the whole house. Louis doesn’t move, just waits. He feels how his heartbeat starts getting faster. Because Harry will be here in two seconds and no matter what, Louis still loves him with every fibre of his heart. Of his whole being. 

He hears how Harry stumbles into the house, how he places the bag with a small _thud_ on the hardwood floor. He hears the steps that bring Harry closer to the living room. And then he hears the steps that carry Harry away from the living room. Louis knows that Harry has seen him, sitting on the couch, even though his back is turned towards the door and not his face. And Harry hasn’t said a word.

That’s the moment, that something flips in Louis’ body and before he can think otherwise, he’s jumping off the couch.  
“SO YOU DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME ANYMORE? THAT’S IT?!”, he screams on the top of his lungs. His own voice rings in his ears and it feels so wrong to talk to Harry like that.  
He sees how Harry freezes and slowly turns, so he would face Louis. 

Louis’ expecting a lot. A careless Harry, who really gave up on their relationship. An angry Harry, who would scream in two seconds with his deep voice that would still send shivers down Louis’ spine. A guilty Harry, who actually sees that he made some mistakes in the last days but was just too scared to approach Louis, which, honestly, is ridiculous still but, Louis could live with that.

He’s not expecting the look on Harry’s face he’s actually seeing now. Tears are streaming down his face, dark circles under his eyes and his lips are actually trembling like he just had to stand outside for three hours while it was minus twenty degrees. 

Louis stops thinking as soon as Harry’s body is fully showing towards him. He practically runs towards his boy and doesn’t hesitate a millisecond to throw his arms around him. 

It’s overwhelming, to feel his body pressed against Harry’s again. It’s overwhelming to feel Harry melting into his arms with the same lack of hesitation. It feels like coming home. 

“Baby”, Louis finally chokes out, after he feels how Harry’s tears soak both of their shirts. “Baby, please stop crying, please.”  
Harry just shakes his head, so Louis tries to bring him even closer, to somehow comfort him. He’s desperate to make his baby happy again. It doesn’t matter anymore what happened in the last days. He just wants his baby happy again.  
“Harry, please talk to me, you scare me”, he whispers and runs his fingers through Harry’s curls, the way he knows would calm him down a bit. It works.

“They - they”, the younger boy hiccups and takes a deep breath before he continues. “Another beard, Louis. _Another_. I can’t to this. And - and I thought you would hate me now after this stupid argument and, god”, he somehow manages to say, before another wave of tears rushes over him.  
“I can never hate you, Baby, you should know that. I love your stupid face way too much”, Louis mumbles into Harry’s skin and feels relieve floating through his veins, when Harry actually chuckles a bit. Even though it sounds a bit watery.  
Harry pulls back after a few more minutes. A gray shadow lies over his still beautiful green eyes, when he stares into Louis’ blue ones.  
“I love you, Louis. I love you so much. I can’t lose you. Please tell me, that I don’t lose you. I know I’m so stupid and-”  
“Shhh”, Louis shushes him and rubs with his thumbs softly over Harry’s face to catch the still falling tears. “You will never lose me, Harold, I promise.” Louis means what he says. With all his heart.

But he’s still a bit confused. When Harry’s so worked up about their stupid argument, why didn’t he text back? Why did he continue their angry silence.  
Harry sees the hesitation in the older boys eyes and panic starts to grow in his body.  
“What is it?”, he asks and Louis chews on his lips before he speaks again.

“Why didn’t you text back? I.. I was so worried, you really scared the shit out of me, Harry.”  
Confusion is now present on Harry’s face. “What text?”, he asks.  
“The one where I asked you if you arrived in LA. I really thought there was something wrong until Paul told me you were already there. I just.. I thought you didn’t care about me anymore when you didn’t answer.”  
Harry pulls his eyebrows together after those words. “Of course I care about you, Louis. I love you, for god’s sake, but I really never got such a text.”  
Louis’ eyes widen. “What?”

‘This doesn’t lead to anything’, Harry thinks and detaches himself from Louis, when he spots his phone on the living room table. Just when he’s one step away from it, he can see the still open text message, that Louis typed earlier.

_“Do you even care anymore?”_

He feels how tears swell up in his eyes. Again. Because this is just wrong. The pure fact, that Louis felt the urge to write something like this, hurts like hell. Because, urgh. This is so fucking wrong.

“I do”, Harry whispers, but Louis hears him nonetheless. He steps next to Harry and again slings an arm around him.  
“I know. I’m sorry I wrote this”, he whispers back and Harry snatches back from his thoughts.  
He grabs the phone and scrolls through their chat. It takes him two seconds to see what went wrong.  
“You wrote to my old number, Lewis. I changed it three weeks ago and you still wrote to the old one. These messages are from last month”, he says and in the next second the phone is in Louis’ hand again.  
“Fuck”, he says. “I’m such an idiot.”  
“But thank you, that you’ve asked, anyways”, the younger boy whispers and for the first time in two days, there’s a smile on his face.  
“It’s because I care about you”, Louis smiles back. “A lot. And I love you. A lot.”  
“Too”, is all Louis hears and then he can’t hold back anymore and kisses his boy.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading you sweet little person <3
> 
> let's be friends! say hi on [ tumblr ](http://mirilik.tumblr.com/) ! :)


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